Couple Fights

Fights are funny. Sometimes, after awhile you don’t even know why you were mad. G and I haven’t fought for more than a couple hours. My secret is my slight case of neurotic-ism where I think that something bad will happen to one of us during the time we are fighting (and by fighting I mean emotional fighting- no hitting….. that’s bad). I call it the:

OHMYGODWHATIFONEOFUSDIESRIGHTNOWANDWENEVERSAIDILOVEYOU paranoia.

I think that if we all took into account this feeling, then my fellow couples would fight less, and appreciate and love more.

This takes the “Never go to bed upset” rule to the next level. It literally kills me on the inside if we get off the phone made at each other, part ways upset, or even go to sleep upset. Through time I’ve learned that G needs a “cooling” period, where he wants to do his own thing for a an hour or so. After, I have my yelling period, where I say what I feel needs to be said, and then I cool down. Usually at the end of the conversation we are back to normal.

I think fighting is healthy… like a period. Doctor’s say it’s healthy for a woman to have her period regularly, once every month. I feel the same way about fighting, though not as frequently. Fighting is a way to test each other’s boundaries and way to communicate your feelings. Imagine a relationship without conflict. Don’t you think it would be utterly boring? Nothing bores me more than a submissive partner. It’s like in the movie, Megamind, where Megamind feels like his life is meaningless without Metro Man to counteract him. But with everything, there should be balance. Two hot-headed, or two submissive people usually don’t work out as well as those couples who are able to balance each other out.

So I encourage all couples to fight once in awhile. Fighting shows passion and concern. I’d take that over apathy any day, but it’s how you handle it that matters most.