Learning new things

This year, aside from getting a job, my goal is to learn French. In my life I want to learn how to speak French, Spanish, and Tagalog. I figure I would start with French because I know for me it will be the hardest. I took Spanish in high school for 3 years and I already understand Tagalog, so it's just a matter of learning the proper way to construct a sentence.

Why French? It's so sophisticated and sexy, so is Spanish (proper). Also, when it comes to European foods, the two countries have to be my favorite out of them all.

Another thing I want to do learn is how to cook more elaborate things. I'd like to say I have a general knowledge of cooking, but a sophisticated palette. Problem with that is, a sophisticated palette can be expensive at restaurants, and takes a little more skill in the kitchen. So if I learned these skills, then I would save money by making the foods at home.

One last thing I would like to learn this year is to manage my finances better. Getting older means planning for my future and if I don't start now, then that's money lost. First, I need to get a job. I'm praying that I find it, or that it finds me.

Couple Fights

Fights are funny. Sometimes, after awhile you don’t even know why you were mad. G and I haven’t fought for more than a couple hours. My secret is my slight case of neurotic-ism where I think that something bad will happen to one of us during the time we are fighting (and by fighting I mean emotional fighting- no hitting….. that’s bad). I call it the:

OHMYGODWHATIFONEOFUSDIESRIGHTNOWANDWENEVERSAIDILOVEYOU paranoia.

I think that if we all took into account this feeling, then my fellow couples would fight less, and appreciate and love more.

This takes the “Never go to bed upset” rule to the next level. It literally kills me on the inside if we get off the phone made at each other, part ways upset, or even go to sleep upset. Through time I’ve learned that G needs a “cooling” period, where he wants to do his own thing for a an hour or so. After, I have my yelling period, where I say what I feel needs to be said, and then I cool down. Usually at the end of the conversation we are back to normal.

I think fighting is healthy… like a period. Doctor’s say it’s healthy for a woman to have her period regularly, once every month. I feel the same way about fighting, though not as frequently. Fighting is a way to test each other’s boundaries and way to communicate your feelings. Imagine a relationship without conflict. Don’t you think it would be utterly boring? Nothing bores me more than a submissive partner. It’s like in the movie, Megamind, where Megamind feels like his life is meaningless without Metro Man to counteract him. But with everything, there should be balance. Two hot-headed, or two submissive people usually don’t work out as well as those couples who are able to balance each other out.

So I encourage all couples to fight once in awhile. Fighting shows passion and concern. I’d take that over apathy any day, but it’s how you handle it that matters most.

Awake.

I hate nights like these. As I surfed my way through the internet, I found myself on craigslist looking at the job posts. Why do I do this to myself? Every time I do the job search, I freak myself out and I am almost convinced that I will never find a job that will make me happy and give me a decent income. Now I feel panicked, and I want to get back to NJ/NY to control my future. Being home doesn't motivate me. It's making me anxious. I do not like the feeling of standing still. I thirst for progress. I thirst for success. I'm searching for that opportunity that will open a million doors for me. I need to keep moving.

What happened to me?

I'm looking at my title, "Mary Grace the Opportunist" and I don't even know who that person is anymore. I use to write a lot, now I've resorted to the lazy blogging of Tumblr. I can't even type as proficiently as I did anymore. Literally, as I am typing these three sentences, I feel like my fingers are stuttering, constantly backspacing because I keep typing the wrong thing. This manifests in how I communicate. Sometimes I feel so tired after school and work that I just don't feel like talking, and if I try to talk and I can't get it out, I get frustrated with myself. I use to write songs, I use to sing, I use to blog about insightful things.Some things needs to change in my life.

My daily life as of now is exhausting. I work on my feet for up to 9 hours, and then I go to school until 9:45pm. If my boyfriend can't get me from school, I have to take public transportation home, but he usually gets me because he's amazing like that. It doesn't sound like much but it's so tedious. I keep telling myself I can't wait to be done with school. I would rather just work and get paid. Others tell me the complete opposite. My friends who work tell me that they would rather be in school. I can't agree with that and I can't even understand why you would want to be back in school when you are in a position where you are doing what you want with your life and getting paid for it. Maybe I'm vain and I'm only interested about the money but I'm a business major... money is the prize and it's even a bigger one when you're doing what you love.

This summer has been an eventful one. It has been an extremely emotional, trying, and exhausting period of my life. I know I can make it into what I want it to be and now I'm going to make more of an effort to do so because some things need to change in my life. First, I'm going to take myself off Twitter and Tumblr because I can never seem to get my full thoughts out there. The two sites are blurring my definition of sharing when all I'm doing is throwing useless bullshit out there. Actual blogging is more mature and I can write more creatively without the distractions of comics and gifs. Second, I'm going to pray/meditate more. In a place in my life where I'm constantly surrounded by people I need to find my zone of alone time, away from the computer. These changes, I know, will make me a better person. I'm a lot more peaceful and happy than I use to be but now I have to I'm 6sigma my life... there is always room for improvement.

Title Change

I wanted to change my title to something bigger than me to I could aim to be something bigger than I already am.

Things need to change in my life. I really need to stop being lazy and actually do something. I don't want to be that person who says, "I can do that better than so and so", when I don't know if that's true at all. From now on, I will be an opportunist. I want to try everything and see everything.

Let's go!

Things I Want to Learn

1. How to properly use Microsoft Access, because I didn't really pay attention in MIS.

2. Understanding the functions of the stock market and how to get involved in it.

3. A better understanding of money/finance.

4. How to play poker like a ninja.

Day 1 QTBB

Chino and I promised ourselves that we'd work hard from this point on to be better. QTBB is Quest To Be Better. I've always wanted to do a self-improvement project and I think that now is the best time to start. I was starting to pull myself down into that lazy boat again. Today I studied for a good majority of the day on an exam no one had any idea how to take. Our professor wasn't at the last 2 classes before Spring Break, and he never gave us review session. Thank God, I found out it was 50 multiple choice, so I was a little relieved. It wasn't that bad. It was a really easy exam, but I knew that if I didn't read what it was on, I'd fail. Good thing I read.

Once I was done with class, we had a barrio meeting scheduled. I wasn't looking forward to it because I thought that I would have to pull the plug on the whole thing. I didn't want to let anyone down and I wanted to hear everyone's opinion. We ended up choosing to work on it, and that we did. We started learning two dances and it wasn't bad at all. No one can say we didn't try. I'm happy that we decided to go through with the performance. Now I know I would regret not doing it.

Now I think I'm going to try to study some Managerial Accounting. I know I won't have much time this weekend.

Today was a good day.